A trip to see the Hair Guru
Today I made a trip to see the 'Hair Guru'. My cousin who I wrote about in a previous entry called Melons is the 'Hair Guru'. She is the #1 hair stylist in a very busy salon in Visalia California. She became the 'Hair Guru' when she gave me the most perfect hair cut and spiral perm I've ever had a couple of years ago. Since then she has been responsible for maintaining perfect curls in my hair. The 45 minute to an hour drive to Visalia went by quickly with U2's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb blaring through headphones since I don't have a cd player in my car. I almost managed to NOT smell the very large dairy while singing along to Miracle Drug and City of Beautiful Lights. It took the 'Hair Guru' 3 hours to do my hair, an hour alone to roll my hair in over 50 blue and white plastic tubes whose ends connect forming circles. I looked like a space-aged meduesa. The other hair stylists in the salon gathered around to watch in awe as the 'Hair Guru'(whom they lovingly refer to as 'Barbie' because she looks like a barbie doll) performed this task. Apparently no one else in the shop was skilled enough to attempt such a space-aged hair rolling spiral perm. While sitting there in my blue and white plastic space-aged meduesa doo that felt like it weighed 50 pounds, I overheard a male customer ask one of the stylists if I was trying for a Star Trek look. If I could have swiveled my 50 pound head around at that moment, I would have told him: "No, not Star Trek but Star Wars! This is a Star Wars doo, surely Princess Leia or Padame wore something like this at one time. George Lucas himself picked this style, and Han Solo... well this is the style that made him fall for Princess Leia, not that two-bun doo." But unfortunately the 'Hair Guru' was busy drowning me in stinky chemicals at the moment. She wrapped my space-aged meduesa doo in a plastic trash bag and went off to cut other customers hair while I waited feeling like the only cat in a room full of dogs. Half an hour later she came back, took off the trash bag, put my space-aged meduesa doo under a hair dryer for a few minutes and then drowned me in more chemicals. Finally it was time to unwrap my hair from the blue and white plastic tubes and rinse out the chemicals. My head seemed to float right off my neck like a balloon with the 50 pound plastic tubes gone. A quick hair cut and gel later... and once again I have perfect curls. This hair cut and spiral perm for my length of hair would normally cost over 100 bucks at any other salon. My cousin the 'Hair Guru' usually does this for me for the price of the perm solution around 10 bucks. Today however, she doesn't even charge me that... she hands me her W2. In exchange for a perfectly curled space-aged meduesa doo-- I'll be doing her tax returns. Accounting and tax returns are a part of my job.

Oh-- in case you were wondering... true to form the 'Melons' did make an appearance today! We went back to her house after doing my hair where she whipped out her melons parading them around the house.

I drove home through the fog with my Goddaughter in the backseat of the car singing along to Linkin Park on the radio while she complained that my hair stunk. She just didn't appreciate the futuristic chemical smell a space-aged meduesa doo has. I think the stink even overpowered the dairy as we passed by.  posted by Matildakay at 9:53 PM