The ritual plant bombing…
This week is ‘Secretary’s’ week. And although I’m not a secretary, I’m an office manager; I am celebrated at work just the same. I have worked for my boss for 7 ½ years. And in those 7 ½ years one thing that my boss and I have gone round and round about are plants. He likes them! I don’t! I am not a plant person. I manage to kill everything with green leafy leaves. I’ve even killed a cactus or two in my day. I could probably even kill a bonsai without much effort. My boss has always tried to surround my desk no, suffocate my desk with plants! He places the creepy crawling viney plants on top of the cubicle wall behind my desk so that the plant's tentacles grow downward and entwine my desk and work space completely covering all the art prints I’ve pinned up for my personal serenity. I am forever cutting those vines away. He buys potted plants and places them on my desk, on the credenza filing cabinet across from my desk, and on the end table in the client waiting area close to my desk. I often beg my administrative assistant D****, (who is aware of my dislike of plants on and around my desk), to not water the plants but to let them die so I can get rid of them and have my personal space back. I cannot stress enough the fact that my boss IS aware of my dislike of plants on and around my desk and yet for 7 consecutive Secretary’s days I have received a plant from my boss! Today as I returned from lunch… I noticed the flower shop delivery van in the parking lot and thought:
“Oh yeah, it’s Secretary’s week.”
I was pleasantly surprised when the delivery lady brought up a very unusual and beautiful arrangement of flowers. And then the delivery lady said:
“This one is for C**** (my office assistant) and I have another one in the van for M****** (me).”
D**** (my administrative assistant) who is home on maternity leave, had also received a beautiful flower arrangement from my boss at her home that day.
When the delivery lady came back up the stairs she was carrying (you guessed it) a very large plant with big green leafy leaves and not one flower in sight, which she ceremoniously deposited on my desk! My boss had done it again! I had been plant bombed! I was seething inside and yearning for a bit of beautiful colorful flowers that I could enjoy and throw away by the end of the week when they died. Instead I’ll have to put up with yet another plant on my desk for months and months while I wait for this plant to die so I could have reason to dispose of it and rid my desk of all leafy green annoyances.
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