Attack of the big black scary spider…
This morning after taking a shower I walked into my kitchen to get a bottle of water out of the fridge and quickly jumped back five feet. Crawling across the refrigerator door was the biggest black scariest spider I’ve ever seen! Instantly I was transported into that cult classic film Arachnophobia—frozen with fear paralyzed unable to move in any direction. I could feel the camera coming in for a close up while beads of sweat burst out on my forehead as I watched the spider crawl closer. I hate bugs! All kinds of bugs. Especially spiders. But most of all I hate having to attack and kill bugs. Believe me, it is easier and more comforting for me to know that somewhere in a niche or cubby hole in my house lives a spider rather than having to mount an attack. Killing bugs is a man’s natural household duty. It’s right up there with taking out the trash and barbequing. Besides all the things a woman wants in a man; sex, friendship, conversation, a sense of humor, spontaneity, compassion, creativity and all the other wonderful things… women also want men to barbeque, take out the trash, and KILL THE BUGS! If a man did all of those things plus put the toilet seat down… he’d be perfect.

Being single and living alone… I can’t call my male friends or my Dad every time I see a spider or other kind of bug in my home. I can’t plead into a phone:

“Please come over quickly its an emergency! There’s a big scary spider on my fridge and I need a big strong man to kill it for me!”

I just can’t do that… I would be labeled their freakish friend/daughter and laughed at profusely. My course of action depends entirely on the type of bug/spider I encounter. If a roach manages to invade my home, I kill it immediately with no remorse. If I encounter a spider-- I may leave it be. Working on the theory that if I leave it alone, it’ll leave me alone. Either way, I call the only man that will come to my house and kill bugs, the BUG guy…  posted by Matildakay at 10:35 PM