Spawn of Annoying Cats…
What is it about cats? Last Friday after work I drove up to Visalia California to visit my cousin and Goddaughter. I had barely put down my overnight bag when a kitten jumped on my leg and started climbing me like I was a carpeted cat pole! I felt claws digging into my leg. Thank goodness I had jeans on! I looked down at the cutest silver blue-eyed Siamese kitten that was reaching HIGH annoying cat levels by clawing my leg to pieces. (There is that slight time period between kitten and cat when a kitten is cute before it becomes an annoying cat). I reached down, grabbed the kitten and dropped it on the floor.

“When did you get a kitten?” I asked my cousin.

“A week ago.” She replied.

“Oh.”

The kitten jumped on my leg again as I walked through the house, climbing and clawing.

“Ouch!” I exclaimed grabbing the kitten and dropping it on the floor again.

“What’s the kitten’s name?” I asked.

“It doesn’t have a name yet.” My cousin explained.

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“A boy.” My cousin stated.

“Cute!” I said sarcastically.

We sat outside on my cousin’s patio talking before the sun went down. It was a nice cool night out, almost chilly. The kitten kept jumping on my leg and climbing, clawing me. I tried to contain it to my lap by holding it down and petting it. It would sit still for a minute or two before wiggling loose and climbing, clawing again until I grabbed it and dropped it on the ground. This tete a` tete between me, the human carpeted cat pole, and him, the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese no-name kitten bordering on annoying cat, skipped over and over again like a scratched vinyl record on a record player. Until finally… I grabbed the kitten and handed it to my cousin.

“Here! Here’s your cat!” I said thrusting the kitten at my cousin.

She took the kitten, cuddled it to her chest, kissed it and talked baby talk to it. The kitten stayed that way for a good five minutes until it started kneading my cousin’s melons with its paws and therefore claws.

“Ouch!” My cousin exclaimed dropping the kitten to the ground.

“I don’t want him to pop me.” She explained.

The kitten immediately jumped on my leg and started climbing, clawing again. I was once again his human carpeted cat pole.

“He must like you!” My cousin stated.

“Oh. Lucky me!” I exclaimed.

Everywhere I went this kitten followed me, jumped on me and climbed, clawed me. If I sat or walked it didn’t matter, this kitten just wouldn’t leave me alone. He was becoming more and more annoying with each moment that passed.

Jump. Climb. Claw. Drop to the floor. Jump. Climb. Claw. Drop to the floor. Jump. Climb. Claw. Drop to the floor. Jump. Climb. Claw. Drop to the floor. Jump. Climb. Claw. Drop to the floor. Jump. Climb. Claw. Drop to the floor. Jump. Climb. Claw. Drop to the floor.

You would think this annoying kitten/cat would tire of the human carpeted cat pole game. But no! I was the only one tired and annoyed with this game.

Later my cousin and I went to her neighbor’s house to hang out. (I escaped kittenville for a while!) She has the kind of neighbors that are fun; all know each other and hang out together in the evenings. They’re also mostly single 30-something men. I wish I had neighbors like that! My neighbor is the little old lady with all the annoying cats that use my house and yard as their territory! We hung out with my cousin’s neighbors talking and drinking for a couple hours. I drank almost a whole bottle of wine by myself. After convincing her neighbor to make us late night pancakes… we went back to my cousin’s house where the kitten was waiting to pounce.

It was unusually cold for a June night, so my cousin turned her electric mattress pad on and we both crawled under the covers to get warm, watch TV and talk. It wasn’t long before the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese no-name kitten climbed up on my cousin's very tall bed and plopped down between us on the pillows and started playing, swatting, and biting the covers. A short time later one of my cousin’s single 30-something male neighbors came over. Apparently he needed more girl time. Or maybe he needed to be one of the girls. Or maybe it was all a sneaky plot to hang out with the girls without the other single 30-something male neighbors around. I don’t know what prompted his late night visit; but he diverted the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese no-name kitten bordering on annoying cat’s attacks from me for a while and that made him King of the moment.

“What’s your kitten’s name?” He asked my cousin.

“He doesn’t have one yet.” She explained.

“How about Fritz?” Her single 30-something male neighbor asked as he stared into the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese no-name kitten’s eyes.

“Oh I like that.” I said.

“He either just named your cat or you better come up with something else.” I told my cousin.

My cousin wrinkled her nose suggesting she didn’t like the name Fritz while her single 30-something male neighbor played with the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese no-name kitten.

“Um… are you sure this is a boy cat?” Her single 30-something male neighbor asked.

“Yeah why?” She asked.

“Because this cat is missing boy parts.” Her single 30-something male neighbor explained.

My cousin grabbed the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese no-name kitten and investigated his claim. Sure enough… no boy parts!

“Oh! I really wanted a girl!” My cousin exclaimed hugging the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese no-name kitten to her chest.

“I’m going to name her Pisces, because I’m a Pisces.” She said excited.

The cute silver blue-eyed Siamese kitten named Pisces curled up next to me stretched and looked at me with its blue blue eyes. Ok, it’s cute. I admitted to myself. Then the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese kitten named Pisces started kneading me with its paws and claws.

“Ouch!”

Annoying cat! I shrieked in my head as I reached over and threw the annoying cat to my cousin’s single 30-something male neighbor.

The cute silver blue-eyed Siamese kitten named Pisces slept in the bed with my cousin and me. I think I rolled over on it once. A little bit of payback. The next morning the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese kitten named Pisces was at it again; working hard at being an annoying cat, while I was getting ready. I had my makeup bag sitting on the toilet seat and the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese kitten named Pisces jumped, clawed at it and pulled the whole thing on top of her. Bottles, tubes, and various other makeup and toiletry items went flying all over the bathroom. The cute silver blue-eyed Siamese kitten named Pisces ran for cover.

“Ha! That’s what you get!” I exclaimed to the annoying cat.

The cute silver blue-eyed Siamese kitten named Pisces ventured back into the bathroom curled up in a towel next to my feet and tried its best to behave… You better be good, you annoying cat! I thought to myself as I looked down at the cute silver blue-eyed Siamese kitten named Pisces.  posted by Matildakay at 7:09 PM