Paradise Bound-- I’m a chicken without a head
Paradise. In a few short hours I’ll be leaving for 10 glorious days in paradise-- Maui, Hawaii. Knowing that paradise is an actual destination instead of a dream is absolutely sublime! Paradise. Where beautiful beaches abound, giant waterfalls, rainforests, a black sand beach, volcano’s, pineapples and hula girls all exist. Where great palm trees gently sway in the wind. Where the sky is blue, the ocean is bluer and everything else is green. Paradise. Where work doesn’t matter, life is uncomplicated and being single isn’t a disease. Paradise... I can’t wait to get there.

The days leading up to my upcoming departure to paradise have been hectic and stressful. I have literally been running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get everything done before I leave. I haven’t even had time to write in my blog for there were too many details to attend to. Laundry had to be done and blouses ironed. I hate ironing. My mother taught me to iron years ago, but according to her-- I iron backwards. Backwards just feels more comfortable to me. Maybe that’s why I have such a hard time fitting in at life. There were lists to check off, errands to run, shopping to do, and the most dreaded shopping activity for a woman in her 30’s-- a bathing suit to buy. No matter how much weight I’ve lost… I still hate my body most days. And having to fit into today’s low-cut, low-rise, itty-bitty bathing suits takes more self-esteem than I possess. It’s times like these when I envy Wonder Woman who ran all over the world in a strapless, high-cut, one-piece bathing suit type costume and go-go boots. Now that took confidence! Then again if I had Lynda Carter’s figure and legs circa 1976 maybe I’d live in a bathing suit type costume too.

Last night at about 9:30pm the stress and exhaustion of this past weeks never ending errands and details caught up to me. I was standing in the middle of Walmart fighting a crowd to make my way down an isle when my phone rang.

“Norfolk is playing in a few minutes at Azuls.” The voice on the phone said.

I felt so defeated in that moment. Norfolk one of my favorite local bands was about to perform and I was stuck in Walmart.

“As much as I would love to hear Norfolk… I can’t make it.” I said disappointed as I looked around at the depressingly dirty store.

Even after work tonight there were last minute errands to run, a pedicure scheduled and suitcases to pack. I’m so exhausted! I’m beginning to wonder if paradise is really worth all this effort.  posted by Matildakay at 11:50 PM