Connectivity Issues! My dysfunctional relationship with my computer…
I’ve been having connectivity issues with my computer. It’s almost as if we’re dating and we are at that point in the relationship where things have gotten a little bit rocky. Lately, my computer has been slow to respond, slow to connect to the Internet, which has been frustrating. At first I thought it was just a phase we were going through; that perhaps we were having problems communicating. But now I believe we have major ISSUES! There’s been neglect, jealousy, and episodes of the silent treatment, name-calling, failed performance and going to bed angry.
I realized we had issues last Wednesday evening. I had an idea for a blog about something that
happened at physical therapy and I wanted to sit down and write it out and post it while it was still fresh in my head. I sat down at my computer desk, turned on my computer and waited for it to start up and load the desktop. Once it was ready, I clicked on the little blue
e Internet Explorer icon on the desktop and waited for the computer to connect to the Internet. I have high-speed cable Internet access so connection should take less than a minute, however, this was not the case last Wednesday evening. I sat there and waited and waited and nothing happened. Finally the computer told me
Server not found! It screamed those words actually. I became instantly annoyed. I restarted the computer hoping that would solve the problem. Still nothing… except the words
Server not found reverberating from the computer screen. I didn’t know what was wrong with the computer and not being able to read its mind, I didn’t know how to fix the problem. I called a friend who usually helps me with computer issues, but he wasn’t home so I left a message. My mother suggested I call the Internet Service Provider, so I did. I spent an hour on the phone with my
girlfriend Tech Support troubleshooting every possible scenario that could be causing my computer to behave the way it was behaving. But like every conversation between girlfriends regarding relationship issues, we couldn’t resolve the problem. Another friend offered to stop by and take a look at my computer for me. He sat down, stroked my computer’s ego a little bit and… WALLAH! Connectivity! I had Internet access again. He obviously had the magic touch! Just a few key-strokes and my computer was behaving for him when it wouldn’t for me. Maybe my computer was just mad at me or jealous because I’ve been spending time lately with its contemporary:
Dell. Whatever the reason for my computer’s bad behavior, silent treatment and connectivity issues, it was now working… and I was happy. I posted my blog entry, checked my email, checked my stats, and read a few blogs before going to bed thinking that all was right between my computer and I.
Thursday evening after work I quickly posted another blog about my
trainer at physical therapy before leaving to go to the
Condors game with some friends. My computer seemed happy to see me, happy for my attention and it performed brilliantly as if all of our connectivity issues had been resolved. I went off to the Condor game not giving it another thought. But when I got home… I found a sulking, pouting computer giving me the silent treatment once more. It refused to connect to the Internet. I was furious! Did my computer actually think that I was neglecting it by going to the Condor game with friends? And it was therefore punishing me? Ridiculous! It didn’t matter how customized, perfect or hand-picked my computer was, it was not going to tell me I couldn’t go out with my friends! I tried every ego stroking key-stroke my friend had done the night before, but my computer wouldn’t budge. No connectivity! I went to bed angry. How dare my computer withhold connectivity because I’d gone out with my friends!
Friday evening after work I tried again to connect to the Internet. No luck. No Connectivity. Just the silent treatment again! At this point my patience was growing thin. I decided it would be better for me to deal with my computer later and I went out to
B.I.F.F. The Bakersfield Independent Film Festival showing at the Spotlight Theater. When I got home… my computer was still holding a grudge. It was still sulking and withholding connectivity and I was extremely angry at its childish behavior. I will confess I called my beloved computer a few choice names. My computer’s failed performance was depriving me of emails from friends, from being able to post new entries on my blog, from reading the local goings on in the
music scene, and even from being able to find out what time a movie was playing at the theater. I was beginning to have trouble functioning without connectivity to the Internet and my computer knew that and was withholding connectivity just to spite me. I went to bed angry for the second night in a row.
By Saturday my computer and I weren’t speaking at all. It continued to withhold connectivity to the Internet and I ignored its existence by spending the day out attending fabulous events like: B.I.F.F., NL’s book signing at Borders for
Lords: Part One and
Rocky Nash at the Rabobank for the Condor game. I had a fabulous day despite my ongoing fight with my computer.
Sunday morning, suffering from extreme Internet withdrawals I decided it was time to make up with my computer. I apologized for the mean things I had said to it. My friend came over to give it the ego stroking magic key-strokes, but my computer was being stubborn. We tried everything… but it still didn’t want to give up the Internet connectivity. Frustrated, we gave up. I gave up the fight. Half an hour later… my computer was working again! I had Internet connectivity! I jumped for joy I was so happy! My computer loved me again! We were back on good terms. I spent the rest of the day petting my computer, paying attention to my computer, checking all my email accounts, checking my stats, reading blogs and being completely content surfing the Internet.
My computer and I continue to be on good terms for the moment. Connectivity abounds, and our relationship seems to be stronger. Hopefully we’ll live happily ever after…
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