Holy Smoke Batman! It’s the Zapper!
“Can you look at my knee for me?” I asked ‘M’, my trainer at
physical therapy, after warming up on the treadmill.
“What’s wrong with your knee?” ‘M’ asked.
“Pain.” I replied.
“What kind of pain?” He asked perplexed.
“Normal pain, but sharper.” I explained.
“Jump up on the table.” ‘M’ said pointing at one of the exercise tables.
“Does this hurt?” ‘M’ asked as he poked, prodded, pushed, twisted, stretched and pulled on my knee and leg.
“Mmmhmm.” I mumbled as ‘M’ continued twisting my knee.
“Yes!” I said raising my voice.
“YEAH! Owwwie!” I yelled.
“Well your knee is definitely inflamed.” ‘M’ stated pushing his thumbs into my knee.
“Ok… ok! That’s good!” I said squirming.
“What have you been doing?” ‘M’ asked.
“Nothing different.” I replied.
“You didn’t stay out all night dancing? Go hiking? Running?” He continued.
“No.”
“Hmmmm…” He pondered.
“Ok do some straight leg raises and long arcs.” ‘M’ instructed.
Back to the basics. I thought while doing my straight leg raises.
“You have no idea how much this hurts!” I told ‘M’ while doing the long arcs exercises.
“Well tell me.” He said expectantly.
“It hurts like heck!” I exclaimed.
“Get back up on the table.” He instructed.
“What’s going on with your knee? I can’t have your knee messing up what we’re trying to do with your fitness!” ‘M’ said cocking his head in contemplation as his eyebrow crept up his forehead at an evil slant.
“I know… the Zapper! A little stim a little ice, that’ll fix you up.” ‘M’ said through a wicked grin.
Oh no, the Zapper! Ugh. Sigh… I thought resolving myself to the torture of the Zapper.
The Zapper is a machine that electrocutes the muscles. It has two purposes: 1) Treatment for pain, and 2) Stimulate and retrain the muscles into functioning.
“You haven’t done anything different at all?” ‘M’ interrogated me.
“The only thing I’ve done different is wear a 1 ½ inch heel with a dress.” I explained.
“That’s enough of a heel to make your knee flare up. You’re not supposed to wear heels.” He said frustrated.
“I had to wear a dress! It was the shortest heel I could find.” I explained.
“No more heels!” He scolded as he hooked up the Zapper to the muscles around my knee.
“Oh… oh… cold!” I shrieked as ‘M’ placed a huge ice pack on my knee.
“10… 15… 20… let me know when you feel it zapping you.” He said as he enthusiastically pushed the intensity level on the Zapper up, up and up.
“That’s good!” I exclaimed.
My knee was like a Mexican jumping bean on the table.
“Alright, 20 minutes.” ‘M’ said walking away.
20 minutes on the Zapper! Great! Just what I didn’t want.
About 15 minutes later…
Um… is that smoke? Is my knee smoking? I panicked.
“Is smoke normal??” I asked ‘M’ a little freaked out.
“Nah… but don’t worry your knee is numb from the ice, you can’t feel anything!” ‘M’ wickedly explained.
‘M’ is the Devil!
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