Photo by: N.L. Belardes
One Bakersfield Woman's Blog to Mankind
Thursday, July 20, 2006
The world’s gone haywire…
I stood in front of the mirror this morning applying eyeliner thickly across my eyelids, making those stretching faces you make while applying eyeliner, when I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling that I should go back to bed, call in sick, not face the world today…
I stood, eyeliner in hand, and looked at myself.
What’s this all about? I wondered.
“What do you have?” The me in the mirror shouted.
I have my blog... I thought.
“You’re 38!” The mirror again.
I know. I whispered.
“And you have a blog?” The mirror taunted.
Silence…
“Are you listening?” The mirror asked.
No! I said aloud.
I picked up a Q-tip and began blending my eyeliner tuning out the mirror and tuning in the morning radio show.
My blog is doing really well these days. I like it. I’ve been experimenting with pictures and videos and my daily unique visits stats keep climbing and climbing. I rationalized as I continued getting ready for work.
Once at work I began my day with my morning ritual of checking email, Myspace, my favorite websites and blogs… I have to know what’s going on at nlbelardes.com!
I was easing into my day sipping a diet Pepsi and reading local happenings, celebrity gossip and music news, (You know you all do this at work too!) when soon I found myself on my favorite pop star, Darren Hayes’ website reading the latest about how he was going into the studio to record a new album soon and how he wanted to share some exciting news with his fans. “I very rarely make comments about my private life… blah blah blah…” I voraciously read. “blah blah blah… on June 19, 2006 I married my boyfriend of two years in a Civil Partnership ceremony in London…” I stopped reading.
WHAT! BOYFRIEND! GAY! HE’S GAY?! Not just gay, but MARRIED to a guy GAY! I’d say he rarely makes comments about his private life… he’s never before this moment announced that he was gay. He was married to a woman for several years! How can he be gay?
I sat at my desk in shock.
The phone rang and I minimized the Internet and answered the phone.
“Who may I say is calling?” I asked.
Gay! Married!
“Just a moment please.” I said putting the caller on hold.
I’m heartbroken…
Don’t get me wrong… I have nothing against homosexuals. It’s just that his announcement kind of ruins my pop star fantasy of marrying him, having his child and traveling the world with him. I’m afraid that’s never going to happen now. Some guy named Richard stole my pop star from me. What is this world coming to? At least I still have Johnny Depp...
Me and Darren Hayes – April 2004
At the first screening of his album The Tension and the Spark
Maybe I’m more in love with his beautiful falsetto voice and songwriting than him… I rationalized while listening to his music on my computer.
I decided to do some work to get my mind off such shocking news.
Under an invoicing deadline I clicked on the Excel workbook that I create draft invoices in.
An error message popped up on my computer screen saying that Excel had experienced problems and needed to shut down. The Excel file I needed didn’t open.
I tried again. Error message. File not opening.
I kept trying and trying and the file I needed would not open. I rebooted my computer and tried again with no luck, the file still wouldn’t open.
I began to panic. I had worked on the draft invoices all day yesterday and now the file and all my work wouldn’t open!
I picked up the phone and punched in my co-workers extension in the intercom.
“Rene, Rene, Rene,” He didn’t answer. “Rene, Rene, RENE!” Finally he picked up the phone.
“Is your intercom not working?” I asked.
“No. There’s no sound, the light just flashes.” He explained.
“Do you have the volume on?” I asked.
“Yeah its on low.” He replied.
“I have a computer problem, can you come help me?” I pleaded.
“I’ll be right there.” He said.
I explained to him the problem with the draft invoices Excel file. We tried opening other Excel files and found that the ONE file I needed, was the only file that wouldn’t open and crashed the Excel program.
“I don’t understand.” I wailed.
“I don’t either. I’ll call the IT guy.” He said.
The IT guy was supposed to be in to fix my problem at 11am. I worked on other projects since I couldn’t work on my invoices, even though I had a deadline looming.
Gay! Married and gay…
“Dawn, Dawn, Dawn.” I tried to reach another co-worker on the intercom but she didn’t pick up. “Dawn, Dawn, DAWN!” I was becoming irritated.
“Are you calling me?” I hear Dawn yell over the cubicle wall separating our workspaces.
“Yeah.” I yell back.
She picked up the phone…
“My intercom’s not working.” She exclaimed.
“Line one is for you.” I told her.
11am came and went and the IT guy still hadn’t shown up. Time was ticking away from me and my deadline wasn’t going anywhere.
“Rene, Rene, Rene.” Again he didn’t answer. “Rene, Rene, RENE!”
What is wrong with the phones today? I shrieked.
He finally picked up the phone.
“Is the IT guy coming or what?” I asked.
“He’s scheduled to be here at lunch to work on the server anyway, so he’ll be here.” He explained.
“But he said he might not be able to recover your file.” He continued.
“So are you saying I should start over and re-do everything I did yesterday?” I asked.
“You might want to, especially if you’re under a deadline.” He suggested.
I hung up the phone and immediately began recreating all the work I had done yesterday.
The IT guy came in a little before 12pm and asked if I needed help with my file. I was already involved in recreating my work and told him I would just continue doing that.
“I’ll be working on the server during lunch you’ll need to close any files you have open that are saved on the server.” He informed all of us.
After lunch I tried to reopen my new file I had just recreated… but it wouldn’t open and I got the same error message as before.
Oh my God! What is going on? This is a brand new file and it’s doing the same thing. I shrieked.
I went and got the IT guy and explained that it was doing it again. He ran a bunch of scans and searches on my computer looking for viruses or anything suspicious, but he didn't find anything.
“Go ahead and start making another new file and I’ll see if I can figure out what’s wrong with those other files that won’t open.” He said.
I returned to my desk and started making another Excel workbook. I imported one employee’s timecard, then another, and then a third… CRASH! ERROR MESSAGE! I clicked on the file and it wouldn’t open.
“Ugh!” I yelled.
“Are you ok?” My boss asked.
“I’m getting PO’d!” I explained.
I consulted the IT guy again…
“Create another file and skip that particular employee’s timecard and enter the other employee’s timecards so we can determine if it’s that timecard or another problem.” He instructed.
I plodded back to my desk and began to create the same file for the fourth time it was almost 3pm now and I had lost almost two days of work and still had a deadline to meet.
I began again… skipping the employee’s timecard that had crashed Excel before. With each timecard I imported and saved the file didn’t crash and still opened. Then lastly I imported the risky employee’s timecard and… CRASH! ERROR MESSAGE! The file was corrupted again.
“There has to be something wrong with this particular timecard, it’s the only one crashing Excel and corrupting my file.” I explained to the IT guy.
“I just updated the virus protection on that employee’s computer, it was expired.” He informed me.
I wonder if that timecard has a virus…
“Here’s my invoice. I’ve got to run… keep me posted on how that all turns out with your file.” He said running out the door.
You’ve got to be kidding! He’s not staying to fix the problem now that I’ve figured out what the problem is! I thought signing his invoice and watching him leave.
Without the IT guy… I did the only thing I could think of to fix my file. I created a whole new timecard for that employee and entered all of their data by hand, deleted the old timecard and then imported the new timecard into my Excel workbook.
It worked. My file opened! I turned up Darren Hayes and got busy working on my draft invoices.
Gay! Married and gay…
Driving in Rosedale after work… lightning pierced the sky. A storm was brewing…
I don’t like lightning.
I should have stayed in bed today… I thought as more lightning appeared in the sky.
I stood in front of the mirror this morning applying eyeliner thickly across my eyelids, making those stretching faces you make while applying eyeliner, when I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling that I should go back to bed, call in sick, not face the world today…
I stood, eyeliner in hand, and looked at myself.
What’s this all about? I wondered.
“What do you have?” The me in the mirror shouted.
I have my blog... I thought.
“You’re 38!” The mirror again.
I know. I whispered.
“And you have a blog?” The mirror taunted.
Silence…
“Are you listening?” The mirror asked.
No! I said aloud.
I picked up a Q-tip and began blending my eyeliner tuning out the mirror and tuning in the morning radio show.
My blog is doing really well these days. I like it. I’ve been experimenting with pictures and videos and my daily unique visits stats keep climbing and climbing. I rationalized as I continued getting ready for work.
Once at work I began my day with my morning ritual of checking email, Myspace, my favorite websites and blogs… I have to know what’s going on at nlbelardes.com!
I was easing into my day sipping a diet Pepsi and reading local happenings, celebrity gossip and music news, (You know you all do this at work too!) when soon I found myself on my favorite pop star, Darren Hayes’ website reading the latest about how he was going into the studio to record a new album soon and how he wanted to share some exciting news with his fans. “I very rarely make comments about my private life… blah blah blah…” I voraciously read. “blah blah blah… on June 19, 2006 I married my boyfriend of two years in a Civil Partnership ceremony in London…” I stopped reading.
WHAT! BOYFRIEND! GAY! HE’S GAY?! Not just gay, but MARRIED to a guy GAY! I’d say he rarely makes comments about his private life… he’s never before this moment announced that he was gay. He was married to a woman for several years! How can he be gay?
I sat at my desk in shock.
The phone rang and I minimized the Internet and answered the phone.
“Who may I say is calling?” I asked.
Gay! Married!
“Just a moment please.” I said putting the caller on hold.
I’m heartbroken…
Don’t get me wrong… I have nothing against homosexuals. It’s just that his announcement kind of ruins my pop star fantasy of marrying him, having his child and traveling the world with him. I’m afraid that’s never going to happen now. Some guy named Richard stole my pop star from me. What is this world coming to? At least I still have Johnny Depp...
Me and Darren Hayes – April 2004
At the first screening of his album The Tension and the Spark
Maybe I’m more in love with his beautiful falsetto voice and songwriting than him… I rationalized while listening to his music on my computer.
I decided to do some work to get my mind off such shocking news.
Under an invoicing deadline I clicked on the Excel workbook that I create draft invoices in.
An error message popped up on my computer screen saying that Excel had experienced problems and needed to shut down. The Excel file I needed didn’t open.
I tried again. Error message. File not opening.
I kept trying and trying and the file I needed would not open. I rebooted my computer and tried again with no luck, the file still wouldn’t open.
I began to panic. I had worked on the draft invoices all day yesterday and now the file and all my work wouldn’t open!
I picked up the phone and punched in my co-workers extension in the intercom.
“Rene, Rene, Rene,” He didn’t answer. “Rene, Rene, RENE!” Finally he picked up the phone.
“Is your intercom not working?” I asked.
“No. There’s no sound, the light just flashes.” He explained.
“Do you have the volume on?” I asked.
“Yeah its on low.” He replied.
“I have a computer problem, can you come help me?” I pleaded.
“I’ll be right there.” He said.
I explained to him the problem with the draft invoices Excel file. We tried opening other Excel files and found that the ONE file I needed, was the only file that wouldn’t open and crashed the Excel program.
“I don’t understand.” I wailed.
“I don’t either. I’ll call the IT guy.” He said.
The IT guy was supposed to be in to fix my problem at 11am. I worked on other projects since I couldn’t work on my invoices, even though I had a deadline looming.
Gay! Married and gay…
“Dawn, Dawn, Dawn.” I tried to reach another co-worker on the intercom but she didn’t pick up. “Dawn, Dawn, DAWN!” I was becoming irritated.
“Are you calling me?” I hear Dawn yell over the cubicle wall separating our workspaces.
“Yeah.” I yell back.
She picked up the phone…
“My intercom’s not working.” She exclaimed.
“Line one is for you.” I told her.
11am came and went and the IT guy still hadn’t shown up. Time was ticking away from me and my deadline wasn’t going anywhere.
“Rene, Rene, Rene.” Again he didn’t answer. “Rene, Rene, RENE!”
What is wrong with the phones today? I shrieked.
He finally picked up the phone.
“Is the IT guy coming or what?” I asked.
“He’s scheduled to be here at lunch to work on the server anyway, so he’ll be here.” He explained.
“But he said he might not be able to recover your file.” He continued.
“So are you saying I should start over and re-do everything I did yesterday?” I asked.
“You might want to, especially if you’re under a deadline.” He suggested.
I hung up the phone and immediately began recreating all the work I had done yesterday.
The IT guy came in a little before 12pm and asked if I needed help with my file. I was already involved in recreating my work and told him I would just continue doing that.
“I’ll be working on the server during lunch you’ll need to close any files you have open that are saved on the server.” He informed all of us.
After lunch I tried to reopen my new file I had just recreated… but it wouldn’t open and I got the same error message as before.
Oh my God! What is going on? This is a brand new file and it’s doing the same thing. I shrieked.
I went and got the IT guy and explained that it was doing it again. He ran a bunch of scans and searches on my computer looking for viruses or anything suspicious, but he didn't find anything.
“Go ahead and start making another new file and I’ll see if I can figure out what’s wrong with those other files that won’t open.” He said.
I returned to my desk and started making another Excel workbook. I imported one employee’s timecard, then another, and then a third… CRASH! ERROR MESSAGE! I clicked on the file and it wouldn’t open.
“Ugh!” I yelled.
“Are you ok?” My boss asked.
“I’m getting PO’d!” I explained.
I consulted the IT guy again…
“Create another file and skip that particular employee’s timecard and enter the other employee’s timecards so we can determine if it’s that timecard or another problem.” He instructed.
I plodded back to my desk and began to create the same file for the fourth time it was almost 3pm now and I had lost almost two days of work and still had a deadline to meet.
I began again… skipping the employee’s timecard that had crashed Excel before. With each timecard I imported and saved the file didn’t crash and still opened. Then lastly I imported the risky employee’s timecard and… CRASH! ERROR MESSAGE! The file was corrupted again.
“There has to be something wrong with this particular timecard, it’s the only one crashing Excel and corrupting my file.” I explained to the IT guy.
“I just updated the virus protection on that employee’s computer, it was expired.” He informed me.
I wonder if that timecard has a virus…
“Here’s my invoice. I’ve got to run… keep me posted on how that all turns out with your file.” He said running out the door.
You’ve got to be kidding! He’s not staying to fix the problem now that I’ve figured out what the problem is! I thought signing his invoice and watching him leave.
Without the IT guy… I did the only thing I could think of to fix my file. I created a whole new timecard for that employee and entered all of their data by hand, deleted the old timecard and then imported the new timecard into my Excel workbook.
It worked. My file opened! I turned up Darren Hayes and got busy working on my draft invoices.
Gay! Married and gay…
Driving in Rosedale after work… lightning pierced the sky. A storm was brewing…
I don’t like lightning.
I should have stayed in bed today… I thought as more lightning appeared in the sky.
He's GAY!?!?!? AND married? Oh, no...We BOTH should have stayed in bed. Just...not together....
Dont fret my dearest,....Im totally GAY for you! :D
It's always sad to accept your true love fantasy is gay, however it's comforting to know he'll never be with anyone prettier than you right?
c.
i read that too! crazy, huh? and lucky... or can we even think that? you got to meet him. i was surprised too.
Computer problems suck, especially when they could have been prevented. Doesn't you IT department update everyone's virus protection in a timely manner? geezuz.
I had a shoulda stayed home today DAY yesterday. *wtf did I just say? LOL anyways... hope it's all better now. And hope you have found a new true love fantasy. I'll share Brad Pitt with you, if you want.
Your Banner-pic is rally great! I think it's you!?
Your day could have been worse. You could have rolled out of bed, turned on the TV and saw that Harrison Ford got raped by Johnny Depp in a secret pirate trist that got them both tangled and choked to death in a big fake beard.