Photo by: N.L. Belardes
One Bakersfield Woman's Blog to Mankind
Monday, August 28, 2006
How to Approach a Literary Agent…
The Literary Agents...
Quotes from the Literary Agent Panel discussions…
“Don’t Stalk.”
“Don’t slip your manuscript under the bathroom stall door.”
“Talk with confidence about your writing.”
“Don’t be intimidated by agents, we like talking to writers.”
“You only get one pitch.”
“Good publishing is about real relationships.”
“Pay attention to what someone is telling you.”
“Perfect your two line Hollywood pitch.” Otherwise known as the thirty-second elevator speech!
“You need high concept.” Example: Irish Joy Luck Club.
“Do your homework on an agent before approaching them.”
“You have ten seconds to impress us.”
“You can only pitch a finished manuscript.”
“You’re relationship with your agent is like a marriage.”
Novelists, Bonnie Hearn Hill stated she used to have the ‘Agent from Hell’ and Hazel Dixon-Cooper stated she used to have the ‘Agent from Pluto’.
Although never having had an agent, I could relate for if your relationship with your agent is like a marriage, I had had the husband from Hell, and three divorce lawyers from Pluto.
At the end of the Literary Agent Panel discussions I was terrified of Literary Agents. Believe me, they are the scariest people in the world! They will chew you up and spit you back out in the ten seconds you have to impress them. And yet… every writer wants one. Just like every woman dreams of a good marriage, every writer dreams of a good Literary Agent.
I witnessed first hand two such chewing up and spitting out sessions with Literary Agents as NL tried to approach two agents about his children’s book ideas. The first one spit him out on the carpet as if he was a bitter sour candy she didn’t like. I don’t think she gave him the full ten seconds to give his elevator speech before she shot him down. He handled it better than I would have. It would have destroyed any confidence I had.
He tried again after the Children’s Market workshop where a Literary Agent had said she was looking for new writers, series books, Christmas stories… all of which matched NL to a tee. So after the workshop he approached her with his ideas and pitch sheets. I watched her face from my chair in the room where I waited for NL, I could tell she wasn’t interested. But then she got mean. I had to get up and leave the room, I wanted to box her ears or hit her and I’m not a violent person. But I couldn’t believe someone could be so hurtful and mean while telling you that they weren’t interested in your ideas. NL walked away chewed up and spit out like raw meat. Again, he handled it better than I would have, he wrote about it on his blog…
Thank goodness his scheduled pitch sessions with agents Irene Webb and Erin Hosier went better than his previous attempted agent approaches. And thankfully Pirate Publisher Malcolm Margolin and the Georgetown Pirate were more receptive to his ideas too... he ended up with four good leads.
I couldn’t even pitch yet as my novel isn’t finished… but at least I now know how to approach a Literary Agent.
The Literary Agents...
Quotes from the Literary Agent Panel discussions…
“Don’t Stalk.”
“Don’t slip your manuscript under the bathroom stall door.”
“Talk with confidence about your writing.”
“Don’t be intimidated by agents, we like talking to writers.”
“You only get one pitch.”
“Good publishing is about real relationships.”
“Pay attention to what someone is telling you.”
“Perfect your two line Hollywood pitch.” Otherwise known as the thirty-second elevator speech!
“You need high concept.” Example: Irish Joy Luck Club.
“Do your homework on an agent before approaching them.”
“You have ten seconds to impress us.”
“You can only pitch a finished manuscript.”
“You’re relationship with your agent is like a marriage.”
Novelists, Bonnie Hearn Hill stated she used to have the ‘Agent from Hell’ and Hazel Dixon-Cooper stated she used to have the ‘Agent from Pluto’.
Although never having had an agent, I could relate for if your relationship with your agent is like a marriage, I had had the husband from Hell, and three divorce lawyers from Pluto.
At the end of the Literary Agent Panel discussions I was terrified of Literary Agents. Believe me, they are the scariest people in the world! They will chew you up and spit you back out in the ten seconds you have to impress them. And yet… every writer wants one. Just like every woman dreams of a good marriage, every writer dreams of a good Literary Agent.
I witnessed first hand two such chewing up and spitting out sessions with Literary Agents as NL tried to approach two agents about his children’s book ideas. The first one spit him out on the carpet as if he was a bitter sour candy she didn’t like. I don’t think she gave him the full ten seconds to give his elevator speech before she shot him down. He handled it better than I would have. It would have destroyed any confidence I had.
He tried again after the Children’s Market workshop where a Literary Agent had said she was looking for new writers, series books, Christmas stories… all of which matched NL to a tee. So after the workshop he approached her with his ideas and pitch sheets. I watched her face from my chair in the room where I waited for NL, I could tell she wasn’t interested. But then she got mean. I had to get up and leave the room, I wanted to box her ears or hit her and I’m not a violent person. But I couldn’t believe someone could be so hurtful and mean while telling you that they weren’t interested in your ideas. NL walked away chewed up and spit out like raw meat. Again, he handled it better than I would have, he wrote about it on his blog…
Thank goodness his scheduled pitch sessions with agents Irene Webb and Erin Hosier went better than his previous attempted agent approaches. And thankfully Pirate Publisher Malcolm Margolin and the Georgetown Pirate were more receptive to his ideas too... he ended up with four good leads.
I couldn’t even pitch yet as my novel isn’t finished… but at least I now know how to approach a Literary Agent.
Why weren't the agents ever in the bar?? The ones I know and love are pirates, too!
This particular group is surely free to speak for themselves, but the ones I know (usually higher up... at ICM, William Morris, Curtis Brown, etc., although I did notice the wonderful Gernert Company was represented here) tend to be more spontaneous and relaxed, with a compassionate sense of the reality that many great authors don't type neatly or even speak coherently at times. Art is raw, and rarely comes with a self-addressed stamped envelope attached. Artists are variously and gloriously mad. So yes, take what you can from the gurus you find, but comfort yourself that there are LOTS of agents out there (too many), that some of the finest in the world are also ironically some of the easiest and warmest to approach by e-mail. These gentle souls rarely appear on the conference circuit, however, and more's the pity.
My favorite type of agent was once an editor at a literary publishing house. Some leave because of the new political climate after a corporate acquisition, some are downsized, but almost all make talented and uniquely qualified agents once they switch over. Many write and publish their own books, so they understand this world from all sides. They rarely choose to associate or identify with the "bulldog" type, though, which may be why I seldom see them sitting on panels.
And to be fair, the tougher ones did NOT speak for all the agents in the group. It only sounded like it. I would have liked to have heard more from the quieter voices.
So here's to the swashbuckling pirate agents... they're out there.
at least you're prepared for next time, sweetie! you violent? she must've been one heck of a character... if you felt like that, i can only imagine how i would've felt... u know me... LOL
Chingpea, if the two of us had been there... she probably wouldn't have lived. :P
Georgetown Pirate, thanks for being the pirate you are and for showing us that there are more approachable agents in the world, and other avenues to pursue.
I like how nl described her and it just shows that yes, his ego was bruised, but he took it in stride.
Thank goodness he had Matildakay there to help him regroup and move on. Isn't it funny how protective we women can be towards those people we cherish? LOL Yet sometimes we don't do ourselves the same favor. hehehe I can put up with some abuse, but you dish it out to my friend and I may have to pound on yah! LOL
Matildakay, you captured exactly what happened. I did have to regroup. I think I was confused after the first one. She didn't try to understand me. So I figured I wasn't clear enough. With the second I was clear, but she obviously doesn't watch cartoon network or she would have know what the hell I was talking about.
Afterwards I regrouped my thoughts and my emotions. I was there to capture the spirit of the event as a blogger-journalist, so I just wrote what I felt. I'm a no bullshit guy, so I wasn't afraid to cover my getting gnawed on. I just did it with some humor.
The Gernert Company rep Erin Hosier was very cool to talk to. Irene Webb gave a great speech, and was kind to me... Malcolm is just my hero as is the Georgetown Pirate, Cindy Wathen, THE SWAMI and Bonnie Hearn Hill. Very encouraging folks who breathe life into the literary world... that's oxygen for me...