Narducci Moments and the Free Drink Conundrum
There was supposed to be a cultural fusion of Latino art, music and poetry last Friday night at Narducci’s. I went with
NL expecting a night on the same scale as Noveltown’s
Stories from Dust literary event, after all, NL was supposed to share some of his poetry...
“I printed out your poem for you.” I told NL when I picked him up.
“Thanks, but I just wrote something for tonight.”
You just wrote something for tonight, right now… just like that… because you’re just that good… I thought wishing I had NL’s talent.
Narducci’s had a nice crowd. Right away I noticed
Marisela Oropeza’s Chicana art displayed on the walls. Her paintings were full of colorful imagery and musical themes, I liked them.
A moth hovered by a fluorescent light and then flew into my face. I felt its wings fluttering near my eyes and I frantically batted at it trying to shoo it away.
Like a moth to a flame… burned by the fire… my love is blind…
I heard Janet Jackson’s ‘That’s the Way Love Goes’ in my head.
Just then someone I didn’t know came up to me…
“Hi Matildakay.”
“Hhiiiii.”
“Who was that?” I asked NL.
“He’s in LIKHY2.”
“Oh!”
“I’m not used to people I don’t know, knowing who I am.”
“Get used to it.” He said.
Such is the life of a blogger when you run into readers…“God damn it I’m sick and tired of this conservative cultural Bakersfield! We need an artistic revolution!” Socialist Sal, LIKHY2’s manager yelled as the bands were setting up on stage.
I laughed…
“He’s crazy,” I said to NL.
Adorable Jenny with blonde pigtails and polka dots waived to me as she came in… I recognized her after meeting her at the
Rollergirls fundraiser event.
I wonder if she’s Jenny with a ‘y’ or an ‘ie’… I thought as she walked by.
The Latino rock music was good… and I especially enjoyed Chelito Miranda’s acoustic songs in Spanish. I’ve always thought love songs were more beautiful in Spanish.
But what usually happens where alcohol flows… people are more interested in the ‘party’ and the alcohol than they are culture and the arts.
Poetry was lost that night to an uninterested crowd. They missed out on something inspiring and profound…
*******
And now the Free Drink Conundrum…
Usually when I go out to music events I buy my own drinks. Whether I’m drinking a diet soda or something stronger, I tend to be independent and prefer the no-hassle involved in buying for myself. Sometimes my friends will buy for me, but they're my friends. That night at Narducci’s I drank for free and it became a conundrum that I wasn’t sure how to handle.
Socialist Sal who was putting on the gig bought a round for NL and I. I had no problem with that, since I knew him a bit and was talking to him throughout the night. Later on I went up to the bar to get us something else to drink and while I was waiting for the bartender’s attention, a man at the opposite end of the bar spoke with the bartender while motioning towards me. I had a feeling I knew what he was up to, but ignored it and waited my turn. The bartender took my order next and when she handed me the diet soda and margarita I had ordered she informed me that the guy at the end of the bar had bought my drinks. I waived and thanked him for the drinks, and went back to our table.
Here’s the conundrum… does a free drink from a stranger require me to converse or socialize with him? Or is a polite thank you enough for a free drink I didn’t ask someone to buy me?
When NL left our table to take pictures of the band on stage, the guy came over and introduced himself.
“Hi, I’m Tony. Do you need anything? Can I get you a drink?”
“No thanks, I’m fine,” I replied.
I know it was nice of him to buy my drinks… but I didn't ask him to and I just wasn’t interested.
My Photos...
that was an interesting night for you guys, huh?
Listen. Just because a weirdo decides you're cute and buys you a drink dosen't mean you owe them ANYTHING. That includes boring chit-chat. Unless of course they're fine as hell....
xo,
Cdarling.
Matilda Kay, it could also be Jenny with an "i" on its own, like one of my favorite local female actors, Jenni Saldana... but that's beside the point.
My mother taught me lots of things, one of which is "never turn down a free drink." (She extends that to free meal... she was the master of the "Three Dates a Day" rule when she was in College in the early 50's. I made her so proud when I once had three dates in a day. For me it happened once, for her, it was a way of life!)
I accept drinks from whomever the heck wants to buy me one.
I find that if a person wants to hit on me by buying me a drink, a good way to shut down the unwanted "hey baby" approach is to order Diet Coke....say "Thanks"... and go about my business. I actually had a man get perturbed with me when he said, "May I buy you a drink?" and I said, "Sure." and then he said, "Whatcha drinking?" and I said, "Diet Coke." He gave me a dirty look and I thought, "Hey, you just met me. When I am out alone and plan on driving, I have one hard drink and then... soft drinks only, thank you."
And some people just buy drinks to be kind. It may not mean a thing beyond they are feeling generous and happy and want to share that generosity and happiness.
I had a girl march right in to the old Lucky's on Eye a few years back and ask me to buy her a drink. I did, and she left directly afterwards. No biggie to me. I'm generous to a point, and didn't want to talk to the lady jerk anyway.
I did not expect to feel this much guilt for not following through with the poetry reading at Narducci's. I am ashamed and feel like I really let down NL. I wish there was some way I could make it up to him. I really admire him, and not just because he's a fellow Historian.
I think I was a little apprehensive cause I thought the drunken crowd may have booed him or someone may have made some nasty remark; that would have pissed me off. Then again, that is the chance artists must take-to be ridiculed by some ignorant "critic". But when all is said & done, "the artist must educate the critic."-o. wilde.
I hope you had a good time anyway. Oh, and your welcome for the drink. It was just a nice gesture to show my appreciation for coming to the event. I only wish that more of my fellow "rockanrolero" brethren knew how important people like you and Nick are to the local arts. As long as the beer is flowing, they'll never take interest.
There must be something else I can do to involve this underground community with the Arts Renaissance that is about to explode unto the streets of Bakotopia Land.
As far as the Free Drink Conundrum, I have to agree with J.J. Scott: "...some people just buy drinks to be kind. It may not mean a thing beyond they are feeling generous and happy and want to share that generosity and happiness."
I remeber doing this on on occasion at Papa's & Beer in Rosarito many semesters ago. I bought drinks for complete strangers, male and female. It was an unforgetable Spring Break.
P.S. Technically, I consider myself a Gramscian Historical Structuralist. It's just another school of thought under the Marxist umbrella.
Nos vemos, Sal "The Socialist"
Hey matildakay, how are you?? Just wanted to stop all of this confusion with the spelling of my name. It is Jenny with a "y".Lol.
I would on behalf of likhy2 and in aggreance with Sal, that people really do not appreciate the talents that you and Nick both have. People ususally become even less interest when there is alchol around. I just wanted to thank you for you talent and allowing everyone to see that in you blogs. At the concert for the rollergirls i saw you and was just dying to introduce myself, so i thought that through a friend i would be able to, and it was done. I just wanted you to know that you are appreciated.
Thanks for your time,
Jenny
Thanks Jenny for clearing up the spelling of your name for me, now I'll always get it right! :)
Also, thanks for all the sweet things you said. :) I'm blushing...
If you're on myspace, we need to be friends... add me!
Sal stands on an undercurrent of passion and revolutionary thought. He fights for a common artistic cause...
And Jenny is the cutest!