The Pie Pushing Manipulative Waitress
NL and I went to
Marie Callender’s for a bite to eat and some literary conversation. We were knee deep in blog talk and discussions about writing mainstream fiction when our waitress approached the table. Her reddish brown hair was pulled back off her face in a short ponytail and she had a quiet aggressive attitude while taking our order. “Be sure and leave room for our apple pie sundae.” She quirked her reddish brown eyebrows before walking away from the table.
Our conversation picked up where it had left off in the middle of
The Nervous Breakdown and
Bond girls. “Would you rather be a 70’s Bond girl or a modern day Halle Berry Bond girl?” NL asked.
“I think the 70’s Bond girls were more glamorous, but I’d rather be a Halle Berry Bond girl, she kicked butt.”
“Here’s some warm corn bread for you.” The waitress returned. “And don’t forget about the apple pie.”
She winked as she walked away. We both smeared whipped butter onto the sweet corn bread and shoved it into our mouths. “She’s obsessed with apple pie.” I said.
“She wants us to turn into an apple pie.”
“If we were an apple pie it would probably be smothered in whip cream which I hate and ice cream which you can’t eat and we’d be all disappointed because we don’t like life
‘whipped’ and
‘a la mode’.”
NL agreed.
“Did you see that literary agents blog today that the
Georgetown pirate sent?” NL asked.
“Yeah I did.”
“We need to write more mainstream fiction.”
“Mainstream?”
“Yeah that’s what the agents are looking for.”
“Remember at the
conference, the agents said they were always looking for that one exceptional mainstream fiction work that could be the next
Lovely Bones.”
“That’s what I mean, our writing has be good writing, but it also has to have that mainstream appeal to attract the agents.”
“I need to get that book.”
“You guys doing ok? You need a box for the rest of your sandwich?” Our waitress asked.
“A box would be good.” NL said.
“Did you leave room for the apple pie sundae?”
“No.” We both said.
“Well our pies are on sale so don’t forget to take one home with you.” She said leaving the check on the table.
“She’s a pie pusher!” NL said.
“I think its her job to try and sell the pies.”
The check was twenty-three dollars and change. Neither one of us had anything smaller than a twenty, so we left forty. When our pie-pushing waitress brought our change, there was a ten, a five and a one. “How am I supposed to figure out the tip with this change?” I asked.
“She knew what she was doing when she brought that change.”
“A one is not enough, but is five too much?” I asked.
“Leave the five, she manipulated her tip that way.”
“You’re right she did! She could have brought ones.”
“She’s a pie pushing manipulative waitress!”
“I’ll give her that, she’s very good at it.” I said as we got up to leave.
My Photos...
Sounds to me like she's a rookie pie pushing waitress. When I was a waitress nobody ever said no to dessert (if not a pie then maybe a fudge brownie?)
And I brought your change back in ONES to make sure I got a tip! Not everybody would leave the five, you know. In fact, most would probably leave the ONE! You two were generous!
you know you guys need to get a button that says,,I BLOG,, I bet you would get alot better service:)
I blog
Or
we blog
we believe in the power of the blog, ya!:)
be nice or we will blog about it:) snickers:)
I'd have left the buck and loose change!!!...just kidding.
Norma: I love desert, but I'm a sucker for chocolate cake, not a big pie person. Too bad Marie Callender's doesn't have cake too.
woof woof: They do make t-shirts that say: "I'm so blogging this!" We should probably get those and wear them out in public. ;)
JR: The five dollar tip wasn't the problem, the problem was I didn't have the right kind of change to make the five buck decision myself.
I'm so blogging this!
OMG I LOVE IT! tee hee! I need to start bloggin so I can own a shirt like that. hahaha
Watch out world... here I come! :)
Just kidding. I would never have anything interesting to say.
Except for all the neat things my kids do or say. Which for some reason most people never find it AS interesting as I do! LOL
That Bitch!
......Damn, now I want pie!
I'm having a shirt made with a black dog on it that way they are fairly warned but I dont go anywhere not even marie calendars chop house.
Norma: You should totally blog the kid stuff... remember that show that Bill Cosby used to host "Kids say the funniest things" or something like that. Funny!
Black Dog: I want a Black Dog shirt! :)
Cortnie: Let's go eat pie!
I was there. I was there! I WAS THERE!!! That pie-pushing manipulative so and so! She was after that five dolla bill all along! Cortnie's comment is funny. I'm getting a new waitress. With a Southern accent.
Hell, someebody should blog about The Cosby Show itself.
I'd have left the five. You both should have been leaving a couple of bucks apiece. What's another fifty cents from each of you?
i'm so easy... i love apple pie - if heated with ice cream on the side - if cold then ice cream on top.
per the $5... well, she got you guys on that one... lol
you should never leave any thing less that five dollars unless someone was rude to you. cheap asses.
Damn AJ. She's just mad at all her bad customers. I still wuv you AJ, even when you spit in my food.
Just kidding. AJ was the best waitress ever.
We did leave the 5.
I usually always leave 20%
In my own defense... I didn't have a problem leaving the 5 dollar tip, I just have a hard time figuring out the math in my head. :) So, the change I had in my hand and the math in my head weren't computing.
I used to bartend, I usually always leave 20% as well.
Oh God I'm old. When I used to waitress minimum wage was $3.25 an hour and the tipping percentage was 10%
Aurgh.
I need a twinkie. It won't make me any younger but I'll definitely feel better.
You "usually always"? I'm pretty sure you can do one or the other, but not both. (:
I usually always don't say usually always. Usually. But I always find myself usually using language that always gets me in the usual predicaments. Always.
What a waitress! What pies.
I looked for the Tight Pants Syndrome blog, but it was a dead end. So what's up with that?
The Dalloways Blog
Ruined by Books Blog
Bakersfield British Car Club
Gary, The Tight Pants Syndrome blog is an idea I have but haven't explored yet... I'll let you know when it gets going. Possibly soon. :)