Photo by: N.L. Belardes
One Bakersfield Woman's Blog to Mankind
Monday, February 19, 2007
The First Time
Virgin Records - Hollywood, CA - 2006
This past week was the first time I thought of Valentine’s Day as an ordinary day. Like every other Wednesday, I went to work and physical therapy and didn’t even think about the fact that the world expected your life to be perfect and wrapped up in a cute heart shaped box tied with a red ribbon.
Instead it was the first time I thought about how love comes in all different shapes and sizes and very rarely is it perfect or wrapped up in a cute heart shaped box tied with a red ribbon. And really the commercialized ideal love doesn’t fit me as well as the different shaped love.
It was the first time I heard about teenage love and first kisses and remembered how strange and wonderful all those feelings are the very first time you experience them in life. Feelings you relive when a man tells you he loves you for the first time.
It was the first time someone gave me a self-help book as a Valentine’s Day gift. Better Single than Sorry was the message they gave. It was the first time I ever felt that a self-help book was actually an insult. (People always feel like they’re fixing you by buying you self help books and since my divorce I’ve been given quite a few). It was the first time I wondered why someone would give me a self-help book.
It was the first time that I didn’t let Valentine’s Day define my life in any way.
Virgin Records - Hollywood, CA - 2006
This past week was the first time I thought of Valentine’s Day as an ordinary day. Like every other Wednesday, I went to work and physical therapy and didn’t even think about the fact that the world expected your life to be perfect and wrapped up in a cute heart shaped box tied with a red ribbon.
Instead it was the first time I thought about how love comes in all different shapes and sizes and very rarely is it perfect or wrapped up in a cute heart shaped box tied with a red ribbon. And really the commercialized ideal love doesn’t fit me as well as the different shaped love.
It was the first time I heard about teenage love and first kisses and remembered how strange and wonderful all those feelings are the very first time you experience them in life. Feelings you relive when a man tells you he loves you for the first time.
It was the first time someone gave me a self-help book as a Valentine’s Day gift. Better Single than Sorry was the message they gave. It was the first time I ever felt that a self-help book was actually an insult. (People always feel like they’re fixing you by buying you self help books and since my divorce I’ve been given quite a few). It was the first time I wondered why someone would give me a self-help book.
It was the first time that I didn’t let Valentine’s Day define my life in any way.
Labels: Bakersfield, Divorce, First Time, Love, Self-help, Single, Valentine's Day, Virgin Records
It was the first time that I didn’t let Valentine’s Day define my life in any way.
good for you! i've never really celebrated valentine's day. it's so commercial and in-your-face... a guilt holiday... y'know? why only have one day to celebrate love when there's 365 days in a year? and why is it always assumed to only be romantic love? ugghh....
love is all the time and everyday and i believe if romantic, and showered just right, it could be like the first time, everytime. :)
I often forget about Valentine's Day. But I agree with Chingpea; it is in-your-face. Hell, even the news talks about it incessantly.
As for self-help books being insulting -- it depends. I recently went through a personal crisis and asked a loved one what had helped them. She complied with a very practical book that addressed some of my concerns. I can see why -- and I have been "gifted" with books and advice for things THAT OTHER PEOPLE perceived as a problem that I had. It all depends --
I'm glad you had a good day Wednesday, Matildakay. I hate those Hallmark holidays too. People get greedy and have high expectations on how the whole day should go. Then they are disappointed in the end. And if they are not disappointed, and you actually did something "right" then that just sets their stupid assed standards higher for next year.
It's stupid. I hate it. This day, along with Mother's Day, Father's DAy, birthdays, Christmas... blech. Get rid of them all.. please... somebody soon. Just keep Thanksgiving. No gifts involved and there's lots of food. yummm.
Hey, I clicked on the link of that book someone gave you... and on the bottom where Amazon lists "people who bought this.. also bought this" and there is a book called:
Cinderella Was a Liar by Brenda Della Casa
ha! Anyways, it reminded me of your soon-to-be-published book. When do you think you'll be done with it? I can't wait!
Chingpea, I agree with you 100%! :)
S.R., It is all 'in your face' and commercial isn't it. I wish retail didn't run holidays.
Greg Goodsell, I've been gifted with so many self-help books since my divorce its comical. And yes I agree, it does depend on your situation at the moment on whether or not its insulting. There have been times in my life when I needed them too.
Norma, I noticed that Cinderella book too. I couldn't find any info on it though, there wasn't even a summary of the book. I'm curious though.
Valentine's Day is for pimps!
OMG I just realized that Better Single Than Sorry was written by Jen Schefft of the reality tv show, The Bachelor(ette). Ewwww. Crawl back under the rock you crawled out of, Jenny girl. I've have enough of you.
oops Did I just admit to watching the ABC Hit sleazy/cheesy Show, The Bachelor? shit.