Lawyer-isms
Recently my friend ‘D’ and I spent an afternoon taking care of legal matters… hers and mine.

She needed moral support, so I went along with her to see the lawyer that helped me out during my divorce.

We arrived early and sat in the old Haberfelde Building office with modern style desks and MAC computers and black and white photos of airplanes on the walls looking at yesterday’s magazines. In my previous experience, this lawyer was always late for appointments and that afternoon was no exception.

I flipped through an old issue of People magazine as ‘D’ asked the Secretary questions. The longer we waited… the more irritated I became. I have to be back to work soon! I screamed at the Secretary in my head.

At 20 minutes past our appointment time, our lawyer’s partner burst into the office wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. The Secretary informed him that his one o’clock appointment was here and that we were waiting for his partner. I looked over at the guy sitting next to ‘D’ who had been shuffling papers in his hands. The lawyer ran into his office, put on a button up shirt that he was still buttoning when he asked his client to come in. A few minutes later his client left the office and the lawyer parked himself on the Secretary’s desk.

“I hate it when people don’t bring all their paperwork with them.” He said.

“He had some papers in his hands.”

“I asked him how much he owed and he said he didn’t know, he left them in his truck.”

“Goodness.” She giggled.

“So I sent him to get his paperwork.”

How unprofessional! I couldn’t believe this lawyer was blatantly gossiping about a client with the Secretary right in front of other clients.

I turned the magazine pages a little louder to make our presence felt. It worked. I made him uncomfortable and he went back into his office. Soon after his client returned with a stack of paperwork and joined him.

“Hi ‘S’.” I said when our lawyer finally arrived.

“Hey.”

“They’re here to see you.” The Secretary informed him.

“They don’t need to see me. They just need to give you some paperwork and pay the balance.” ‘S’ said leaving us in the waiting area as he walked into his office.

What! We’ve waited all this time and we’re not going to see him? How dare he pass us off to his Secretary! I was pissed.

‘D’ took care of her business with the Secretary while I stewed in my seat.

“That was so rude!” I said as we left.

“What was?” ‘D’ asked as if she hadn’t just experienced the same thing I did.

“That lawyer gossiping about other clients in front of us and ‘S’ being 20 minutes late and then passing us off to the Secretary!”

“Well I’m just glad that part is over.” She said.

I slapped my forehead.

“I’m so glad you told me ‘S’ wasn’t that nice of a guy.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“Because if he was a nice guy I’d be really nervous around him.”

“Well he’s not that nice. He’s a lawyer! So you can relax.” I pushed the elevator down button.

We left the Haberfelde Building and drove to another lawyer’s office. This lawyer was handling my insurance claim case and I needed to pick up some paperwork.

I rode the elevator up to the fourth floor and stepped out into a posh spacious office filled with leather chairs, large mahogany desks, tables and oil paintings of the founding partners hanging on the walls. The office was starchly quiet.

“I’m here to see Maria.” I told the receptionist who wore a headset and read a magazine.

A few minutes later Maria, a paralegal, ushered me into a conference room where I read through my paperwork as she explained it. Suddenly my eyes stopped short on the most important sentence, the argument. There were three spelling errors in this one sentence. Three spelling errors! These people are highly educated lawyers and they can’t run a spell check on their computers!

The sentence read: “I’ve been in contact with the Defendant’s auto insurance and there settlement offer was rediculusly loss.”

Did you catch the spelling errors, or did your mind read the sentence the way it was supposed to be spelled?

The correct spelling: “I’ve been in contact with the Defendant’s auto insurance and their settlement offer was ridiculously low.”

So I’m sitting at this huge mahogany table wondering if I should mention the spelling errors. It might take them another five weeks to correct the spelling errors! I thought. Maria left the room to make some copies while I deliberated whether I should mention the spelling errors.

When Maria came back, I took the papers and left without mentioning the spelling errors. I figured I could live with a couple spelling errors if it meant finally getting a judgment and settlement. It’s been over a year since my accident and I’m tired of fighting the insurance company.

“You get it all taken care of?” ‘D’ asked as I got back in the car.

“Yep.” Spelling errors and all.

Labels: Divorce, insurance claims, Lawyers

  posted by Matildakay at 9:20 PM