Photo by: N.L. Belardes
One Bakersfield Woman's Blog to Mankind
Thursday, May 31, 2007
39
I turned 39 this past Monday on Memorial Day. Which was kind of fitting considering this is the last year of my 30’s. Wow! It’s really weird to say that.
39 didn’t really start to sink in until the night before my birthday when it hit me like a giant cartoon sledgehammer right over the head. How could I be 39 years old? I wondered. I don’t feel 39. What does 39 feel like anyway? I thought I had avoided the dreaded Gemini anxiety this year, but there it was like a ghost staring me in the face screaming 39.
In 39 years I have never figured out how to deal with the Gemini anxiety. I can only compare it to an anxiety attack. Having to face your age and the confusion of life on the day you were born as if birthdays bring wisdom or meaning makes me anxious. Because really I have no clue what I’m doing.
The day before my birthday I sat in the Harvey Auditorium listening to Bakersfield High School teachers and students speaking what they hoped were inspirational words to the graduates at a baccalaureate ceremony, when I heard the Mathematics Chair admit: “Life is confusing and I still have no clue what I’m doing.” It took guts to admit that to a graduating class and it made me feel so much better to know I wasn’t alone in my confusion. He went on to say that: “Whatever life throws at you, I know you can handle it.” In 39 years, that is truly the one thing I have learned.
39 is about opportunities. I can just feel it. It’s about finding ways to celebrate life. It’s about being a zombie in Hectic Films horror film. It’s about a project that celebrates being 39 forever, immortally and an opportunity that could potentially be bigger than I imagine. I’ll tell you all about this project when the time is right to announce it. It’s about change. I can feel that too. But whatever 39 throws at me… I know I can handle it.
On Memorial Day morning the big 39 and I headed down to Santa Monica with my Noveltown partners, N.L. and chingpea to attend a Small Press Book Fair. We listened to my ipod on the drive down, the shuffle feature was the DJ and for some odd reason the ipod picked all the obscure, rarely listened to music I had. Except for a couple Darren Hayes songs and a few Harry Connick Jr. songs, we were stuck in an easy listening montage from the 80’s and 90’s. I was a little embarrassed every time N.L. asked: “Who’s this?” Crazy! Why isn’t the ipod playing U2, Wilco, The Shins, The Killers, Coldplay, Sting, or anyone else that I listen to all the time? I wondered.
“I didn’t realize you listened to so much easy listening.” N.L. teased.
“I swear I don’t.”
“If you don’t listen to it, what’s it doing on your ipod?” He had me there.
“I listen to it once in a while, but not all the time really.” I tried to regroup. He just laughed at me.
And then a Darren Hayes song I haven’t heard in a while but love came on and I listened as Darren sang…
“Are you where you want to be?
Did you get there easily?
Did they make you sacrifice?
Did you make a sharp left
When you should've turned right?
Are you where you want to be?”
Well that’s an appropriate question for my 39th birthday. I thought. Am I where I want to be? I’ve always answered that question with a no since my divorce because I haven’t ended up where I thought I would when I dreamed of fairy tales. Somewhere along the line I made a sharp left and ended up where I am today. But that sharp left has made me more me than I ever would have been without it.
And then The Fly by U2 began playing on the ipod and I forgot about being 39 as we talked about all things Noveltown.
Soon we arrived at the Small Press Book Fair in Santa Monica, set up Noveltown’s table and began a day of networking with other Small Presses, writers and poets. We met a lot of great people, heard a lot of great poetry and hung out with co-poetry editors for the Noveltown Review Rafael Alvarado and S.A. Griffin. And the Noveltown Review went like hotcakes!
S.A. Griffin reads a few poems.
N.L. will be writing in depth about the Small Press Book Fair and our adventures there so be sure to look for it on Paperback Writer.
The Small Press Book Fair was held in an old church in Santa Monica with stained glass windows. I love stained glass windows. I find them truly beautiful. I had my camera with me and I took a few pictures of the windows and in and around the old church. I’ll share those with you in another post.
After spending most of the day at the book fair it was time to go exploring in Los Angeles. We were all starving having only snacked on muffins and cookies at the book fair. We headed to Hollywood. We had food and Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End on our brains.
We found one of our favorite burger joints, Astro Burgers, and gobbled up our food while we picked songs on the tabletop jukebox.
Notice the green mohawk and chingpea's cameo!
Afterwards we headed to Disney’s El Capitan theatre on Hollywood Blvd. We wanted to see Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End in a famous theatre but all the shows were sold out.
So we drove to Universal City walk to see if we could see Pirates at the theatre there. We were able to get tickets and walked around City Walk looking at shops while we waited for the movie to start. The theatre at Universal City Walk is posh with wide plush seats, lots of leg room and a huge screen. Let me tell you Captain Jack looks really good on Universal’s giant screen. I enjoyed the movie even better the second time around. We spent most of the drive home dissecting and discussing Pirates 3.
It was the perfect ending to a great day. I usually prefer for my birthdays to go by quietly. No big fuss. I don’t want to be the center of attention. I just want to be remembered by the people I love. And that is exactly what 39 Memorial Day was.
I turned 39 this past Monday on Memorial Day. Which was kind of fitting considering this is the last year of my 30’s. Wow! It’s really weird to say that.
39 didn’t really start to sink in until the night before my birthday when it hit me like a giant cartoon sledgehammer right over the head. How could I be 39 years old? I wondered. I don’t feel 39. What does 39 feel like anyway? I thought I had avoided the dreaded Gemini anxiety this year, but there it was like a ghost staring me in the face screaming 39.
In 39 years I have never figured out how to deal with the Gemini anxiety. I can only compare it to an anxiety attack. Having to face your age and the confusion of life on the day you were born as if birthdays bring wisdom or meaning makes me anxious. Because really I have no clue what I’m doing.
The day before my birthday I sat in the Harvey Auditorium listening to Bakersfield High School teachers and students speaking what they hoped were inspirational words to the graduates at a baccalaureate ceremony, when I heard the Mathematics Chair admit: “Life is confusing and I still have no clue what I’m doing.” It took guts to admit that to a graduating class and it made me feel so much better to know I wasn’t alone in my confusion. He went on to say that: “Whatever life throws at you, I know you can handle it.” In 39 years, that is truly the one thing I have learned.
39 is about opportunities. I can just feel it. It’s about finding ways to celebrate life. It’s about being a zombie in Hectic Films horror film. It’s about a project that celebrates being 39 forever, immortally and an opportunity that could potentially be bigger than I imagine. I’ll tell you all about this project when the time is right to announce it. It’s about change. I can feel that too. But whatever 39 throws at me… I know I can handle it.
On Memorial Day morning the big 39 and I headed down to Santa Monica with my Noveltown partners, N.L. and chingpea to attend a Small Press Book Fair. We listened to my ipod on the drive down, the shuffle feature was the DJ and for some odd reason the ipod picked all the obscure, rarely listened to music I had. Except for a couple Darren Hayes songs and a few Harry Connick Jr. songs, we were stuck in an easy listening montage from the 80’s and 90’s. I was a little embarrassed every time N.L. asked: “Who’s this?” Crazy! Why isn’t the ipod playing U2, Wilco, The Shins, The Killers, Coldplay, Sting, or anyone else that I listen to all the time? I wondered.
“I didn’t realize you listened to so much easy listening.” N.L. teased.
“I swear I don’t.”
“If you don’t listen to it, what’s it doing on your ipod?” He had me there.
“I listen to it once in a while, but not all the time really.” I tried to regroup. He just laughed at me.
And then a Darren Hayes song I haven’t heard in a while but love came on and I listened as Darren sang…
“Are you where you want to be?
Did you get there easily?
Did they make you sacrifice?
Did you make a sharp left
When you should've turned right?
Are you where you want to be?”
Well that’s an appropriate question for my 39th birthday. I thought. Am I where I want to be? I’ve always answered that question with a no since my divorce because I haven’t ended up where I thought I would when I dreamed of fairy tales. Somewhere along the line I made a sharp left and ended up where I am today. But that sharp left has made me more me than I ever would have been without it.
And then The Fly by U2 began playing on the ipod and I forgot about being 39 as we talked about all things Noveltown.
Soon we arrived at the Small Press Book Fair in Santa Monica, set up Noveltown’s table and began a day of networking with other Small Presses, writers and poets. We met a lot of great people, heard a lot of great poetry and hung out with co-poetry editors for the Noveltown Review Rafael Alvarado and S.A. Griffin. And the Noveltown Review went like hotcakes!
S.A. Griffin reads a few poems.
N.L. will be writing in depth about the Small Press Book Fair and our adventures there so be sure to look for it on Paperback Writer.
The Small Press Book Fair was held in an old church in Santa Monica with stained glass windows. I love stained glass windows. I find them truly beautiful. I had my camera with me and I took a few pictures of the windows and in and around the old church. I’ll share those with you in another post.
After spending most of the day at the book fair it was time to go exploring in Los Angeles. We were all starving having only snacked on muffins and cookies at the book fair. We headed to Hollywood. We had food and Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End on our brains.
We found one of our favorite burger joints, Astro Burgers, and gobbled up our food while we picked songs on the tabletop jukebox.
Notice the green mohawk and chingpea's cameo!
Afterwards we headed to Disney’s El Capitan theatre on Hollywood Blvd. We wanted to see Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End in a famous theatre but all the shows were sold out.
So we drove to Universal City walk to see if we could see Pirates at the theatre there. We were able to get tickets and walked around City Walk looking at shops while we waited for the movie to start. The theatre at Universal City Walk is posh with wide plush seats, lots of leg room and a huge screen. Let me tell you Captain Jack looks really good on Universal’s giant screen. I enjoyed the movie even better the second time around. We spent most of the drive home dissecting and discussing Pirates 3.
It was the perfect ending to a great day. I usually prefer for my birthdays to go by quietly. No big fuss. I don’t want to be the center of attention. I just want to be remembered by the people I love. And that is exactly what 39 Memorial Day was.
Labels: 39, birthday, Captain Jack, Memorial Day, Noveltown, Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End, Small Press Book Fair, The Noveltown Review
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Captain Jack goes to the End of the World and breaks another record
For my male readers who are tired of hearing me wax poetic about Captain Jack and Johnny Depp, who gag every time I post another Captain Jack/Johnny Depp photo, please feel free to skip right over this blog, in fact go read about me being a zombie… this blog is for the females.
I’ve been looking forward to the opening of the third installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean and seeing Captain Jack once again on the big screen all year. In fact I have been obsessed. And like any good obsessed smalltown girl, I joined my friends after work last Thursday evening to wait in line for the premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End wearing my favorite Captain Jack t-shirt.
We waited in the heat as the sun had decided to burn down upon us as if we were lost at sea with no cover. Those next to me in line opened an umbrella and tried to find shade. While others camped out in lawn chairs and on blankets text messaging and reading books. There were many pirates from the local Pirates Guild in full pirate regalia in line having mock sword fights, smoking cigarettes and talking in “arghs,” I wanted one of their fabulous pirate costumes.
Chingpea and I argued with a 4-year-old pirate over Captain Jack and Will Turner. The 4 year old claimed: “Captain Jack is old,” chingpea and I were heart broken for our beloved Captain Jack. I guess each generation has their pirate, Will Turner can be the young ones pirate, Captain Jack is chingpea’s and mine.
Finally they began to let us into the theatre. Pirates 3 At World’s End was worth the wait! I liked it much better than Pirates 2 Dead Man’s Chest. There were amazing Singapore scenes, the tyrannical East India Company and the demolishment of democracy, the journey to Davy Jones’ Locker to rescue Captain Jack, a sea goddess, the pirate brethren, great sword fights, and love and betrayal.
Even though it took a while for Captain Jack to make an appearance, once found he was larger than life in every scene. And though he suffered from delusions because of his visit to the locker, he was nobody’s fool. All of the main characters story lines were completed and we found out the answers to many unanswered questions from the previous two movies. Each of the characters seemed to have their own agenda, and at times it was hard to figure out who was betraying whom. In the end Will and Elizabeth’s love and Captain Jack’s good heart won the day.
I’ve read in articles where Johnny Depp is so attached to his Captain Jack character that he’s not quite ready to give him up. Believe me, I’m not ready to give up Captain Jack yet either. In the end the movie is left open for a fourth installment of Pirates should every one so desire it. I certainly wouldn’t object to more Captain Jack and Pirates movies.
In the meantime, Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End broke the record for best Memorial Day opening with $142.1 million for the three-day weekend and another $14 million on the premiere last Thursday. And with sold out shows continuing those numbers will only climb.
I’ve seen the movie twice now and can’t wait to see it a few more times at the theatre; it’s a wild pirate ride to the end of the world.
For my male readers who are tired of hearing me wax poetic about Captain Jack and Johnny Depp, who gag every time I post another Captain Jack/Johnny Depp photo, please feel free to skip right over this blog, in fact go read about me being a zombie… this blog is for the females.
I’ve been looking forward to the opening of the third installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean and seeing Captain Jack once again on the big screen all year. In fact I have been obsessed. And like any good obsessed smalltown girl, I joined my friends after work last Thursday evening to wait in line for the premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End wearing my favorite Captain Jack t-shirt.
We waited in the heat as the sun had decided to burn down upon us as if we were lost at sea with no cover. Those next to me in line opened an umbrella and tried to find shade. While others camped out in lawn chairs and on blankets text messaging and reading books. There were many pirates from the local Pirates Guild in full pirate regalia in line having mock sword fights, smoking cigarettes and talking in “arghs,” I wanted one of their fabulous pirate costumes.
Chingpea and I argued with a 4-year-old pirate over Captain Jack and Will Turner. The 4 year old claimed: “Captain Jack is old,” chingpea and I were heart broken for our beloved Captain Jack. I guess each generation has their pirate, Will Turner can be the young ones pirate, Captain Jack is chingpea’s and mine.
Finally they began to let us into the theatre. Pirates 3 At World’s End was worth the wait! I liked it much better than Pirates 2 Dead Man’s Chest. There were amazing Singapore scenes, the tyrannical East India Company and the demolishment of democracy, the journey to Davy Jones’ Locker to rescue Captain Jack, a sea goddess, the pirate brethren, great sword fights, and love and betrayal.
Even though it took a while for Captain Jack to make an appearance, once found he was larger than life in every scene. And though he suffered from delusions because of his visit to the locker, he was nobody’s fool. All of the main characters story lines were completed and we found out the answers to many unanswered questions from the previous two movies. Each of the characters seemed to have their own agenda, and at times it was hard to figure out who was betraying whom. In the end Will and Elizabeth’s love and Captain Jack’s good heart won the day.
I’ve read in articles where Johnny Depp is so attached to his Captain Jack character that he’s not quite ready to give him up. Believe me, I’m not ready to give up Captain Jack yet either. In the end the movie is left open for a fourth installment of Pirates should every one so desire it. I certainly wouldn’t object to more Captain Jack and Pirates movies.
In the meantime, Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End broke the record for best Memorial Day opening with $142.1 million for the three-day weekend and another $14 million on the premiere last Thursday. And with sold out shows continuing those numbers will only climb.
I’ve seen the movie twice now and can’t wait to see it a few more times at the theatre; it’s a wild pirate ride to the end of the world.
Labels: Bakersfield, Captain Jack, Johnny Depp, Kern County Pirates Guild, Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End, Smalltown Girls
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Tonight I'm seeing a Pirate...
At long last... the wait for the premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and the return of Captain Jack is finally here!
The other day I was accused of having Captain Jack fever. If this is a fever... I don't want to be well.
Can you blame me?
I'm ready to be pillaged...
At long last... the wait for the premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and the return of Captain Jack is finally here!
The other day I was accused of having Captain Jack fever. If this is a fever... I don't want to be well.
Can you blame me?
I'm ready to be pillaged...
Labels: Captain Jack, Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End
Monday, March 26, 2007
Pirate Watch
In just 60 days... Captain Jack will be back!
Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End
Watch the trailer...
I'm counting the days...
In just 60 days... Captain Jack will be back!
Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End
Watch the trailer...
I'm counting the days...
Labels: Captain Jack, Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End
About Me
- Name: Matildakay
- Location: Bakersfield, California, United States
An inspirational, eclectic and often humorous peek into the life of single womanhood in Bakersfield, California and beyond...
Keep Moving Forward... in 2008
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
Contact Me
Email
Myspace
What I'm reading...
My Photos...
www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos and videos from matildakay. Make your own badge here.
39 and Holding... Him
Buy this Book I'm on the Cover!
